How to Introduce a Side Character (Writing Emotion: Self-Pity)

The Writing Emotion series observes one emotion at a time in a story that does it well. This is so that we can understand better how to do our most important job as storytellers (no matter the genre): make readers feel.

The objective of these posts is less about learning to convey a specific emotion (joy, sorrow, anxiousness, etc.) and more about studying what is going on underneath a scene that makes the emotionality of it more compelling for the characters and the reader alike—

It’s about learning to write emotion.

Emotion: Self-Pity
Story: Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

Self-Pity: excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles

In the passage below, you’ll meet Septimus and Rezia, a young married couple whose POV’s feature sporadically throughout the book. Septimus, who has recently returned from war, suffers from severe depression and PTSD.

Passage from the story:

““Septimus!” Said Rezia. He started violently. People must notice.

“I am going to walk to the fountain and back,” she said.

For she could stand it no longer. Dr Holmes might say there was nothing the matter. Far rather would she that he (Septimus) were dead! She could not sit beside him when he stared so and did not see her and made everything terrible; sky and tree, children playing, dragging carts, blowing whistles, falling down; all were terrible. And he would not kill himself; and she could tell no one. “Septimus has been working too hard” - that was all she could say to her own mother. To love makes one solitary, she thought. She could tell nobody, not even Septimus now, and looking back, she saw him sitting in his shabby overcoat alone, on the seat, hunched up, staring. And it was cowardly for a man to say he would kill himself, but Septimus had fought; he was brave; he was not Septimus now. She put on her lace collar. She put on her new hat and he never noticed; and he was happy without her. Nothing could make her happy without him! Nothing! He was selfish. So men are. For he was not ill. Dr Holmes said there was nothing the matter with him. She spread her hand before her. Look! Her wedding ring slipped - she had grown so thin. It was she who suffered - but she had nobody to tell.”

Lesson 1: Characterization

There are many ways to use emotion in writing:

use it as an integral part of characterization
use it as a way for a character to transform (whether demonstrating the transformation process or the “after” image of a transformation)
use it as a necessary human emotion that passes quickly

In this scene, Woolf leans heavily into the first use listed above.

This is our first introduction to Rezia. And within a couple of paragraphs, by highlighting a few key emotions, we understand who she is. In a few short sentences, we have a good feel for the type of person we’re dealing with.

Rezia is spoiled and sensitive. She leans toward a victim mentality. She grows easily frustrated when confronted with opinions and perspectives that differ from her own. She feels sorry for herself. She is much more focused on her own experience than that of others, even those closest to her who may be struggling.

And all of this characterization is wrapped up neatly in one primary emotion: self-pity.

Story implementation questions:

What is a core emotion that does a good job of introducing and defining your scene’s featured character? What actions or internal narrative can help express that emotion?
What details in their surroundings might a character experiencing this emotion notice? (Rezia notices her husband’s shabby overcoat, as well as her lace collar and the way her ring is now slipping off of her thin finger.)
Is there a negative emotion they are experiencing in regard to someone close to them? How can you highlight that emotion in a way that aligns with their characterizing emotion? (Rezia feels exasperated and angry with Septimus, which helps bolster her characterizing emotion of self-pity.)

Lesson 2: Internal Argument

“And it was cowardly for a man to say he would kill himself, but Septimus had fought; he was brave; he was not Septimus now.”

Your characters are going to be illogical sometimes.

In fact, if you’re utilizing emotion to its peak, this is inevitable. Because sometimes emotion blinds us. Sometimes emotion makes us unreasonable and impulsive. Sometimes downright irrational.

Sometimes it causes us to see past logic only into the heart of our own suffering.

And those moments offer great opportunities for storytelling.

Rezia is feeling very sorry for herself. And from that place, all she sees is evidence for her own pain. This results in her blowing past the pain of others, even her own husband.

But wait, Septimus was selfless and courageous. He fought in a war! Doesn’t that give him the right—

No. Not according to Rezia. At least in this moment.

But bringing up this point of Septimus’s selfless past in her internal narration is excellent writing. It allows her to argue with herself, and come out in favor of whatever emotion is driving her narrative in the moment.

At another time, in another place, she might be able to view Septimus’s sacrifice with more compassion and generosity.

But not while self-pity is driving the show.

Story implementation questions:

How might an emotion, in a single moment, blind your character past reason?
Alternately, if their emotion is more peaceful, how can it be driving their narration toward a place of peace and reason? Think about the emotion in a given scene, and then consider how that might make your character either more level-headed or more irrational.
How can you show this process of a character arguing with themself - with facts, reason, the needs of others, etc. - through their internal narration?
What evidence can they gather in favor of the scene’s defining emotion? (For example, Rezia bolsters her self-pity by remembering Dr. Holmes and his diagnosis which stated that, in fact, nothing is really the matter with Septimus.)

Lesson 3: Passive…aggressive

The spectrum of passive-aggressive to aggressive elicits a wide range of emotions.

But emotion it elicits. And not just in the characters—in the reader, as well.

This means that tapping into your character’s aggressive spectrum can do two things:

It can evolve and expand characterization (and we love three-dimensional characters - more on this below)
It can elicit an emotional response in the reader

In the example above, Rezia is passive-aggressive. Most of the narrative that helps us see this characteristic is internal, but take a look at this:

“‘I am going to walk to the fountain and back,’ she said.”

Simple. Straightforward. But in the context of her thoughts and feelings toward Septimus, and especially considering the obvious way in which he is struggling during this scene, it’s passive-aggressive. It makes us roll our eyes. In other words, it makes us feel annoyed. Maybe even outraged that she could be treating her husband, who is suffering from severe PTSD, in such a callous manner.

Sometimes we can learn large lessons from these emotional scenes. Things like how to tap into a character arc or express your story’s themes.

And sometimes we can take a small, specific example that may be applicable to just one scene in our own story. Like how to leverage our character’s passive aggression (or full-on aggression) for wider storytelling.

Story implementation questions:

Where does your scene’s main character fall on the scale of passive-aggressive to aggressive?
How can they express that aggression both internally and externally in your current scene? What emotion were they experiencing that triggered that aggression?
What emotion is that expression likely to elicit in the reader?