How to Expose a Character’s Vulnerability, Part 1 (Writing Emotion: Impatience)

The Writing Emotion series observes one emotion at a time in a story that does it well. This is so that we can understand better how to do our most important job as storytellers (no matter the genre): make readers feel.

The objective of these posts is less about learning to convey a specific emotion (joy, sorrow, anxiousness, etc.) and more about studying what is going on underneath a scene that makes the emotionality of it more compelling for the characters and the reader alike—

It’s about learning to write emotion.

Emotion: Impatience
Story: Wild is the Witch by Rachel Griffin

Impatience: irritability or restlessness

Passage from the story:

“I…eat my dinner as quickly as possible. Once I’m finished, I stand and clean up, then stop in front of Pike. “Okay, time to go,” I say.

He looks up at me from where he’s sitting but doesn’t make any move to stand. “We’re not looking for the owl tonight.”

“Yes, we are,” I say.

“Iris, he’s going to start hunting soon. It will be dark by the time we even get to him. There’s no way we’ll find him, let alone capture him. We have to wait until morning.”

“I’m sick of waiting,” I say. “Why did we come up here today if we were just going to waste it?”

“To get prepared,” Pike says. “You can’t just go up to the owl and ask him politely to join us for dinner. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Oh, because you’re so knowledgeable about tracking owls through the forest?”

“It’s just common sense,” he says, exasperated. “He’ll hunt tonight. He’ll be calm tomorrow. We’ll go after him as soon as we get up. There’s nothing we can do when it’s this dark, so just relax a little.”

“God, I’m so sick of people telling me to relax all the time.” I say the words under my breath, more to myself than Pike, but he responds anyway.

“Maybe you should listen.”

“It’s that easy, huh? Just decide to relax.” I look away. “You don’t get it.” I’m too tired to argue, too tired to get into a sparring match where the person with the quickest wit wins. Pike is all sarcasm all the time, but I just want to think before I speak and say what I mean. I don’t want to have to be clever when I feel anything but.

“Am I supposed to?” he asks.

“Are you supposed to what?”

“‘Get it.’ Because I have the distinct impression that you’re not interested in me getting you.” The way he says it hints at something deeper, but I can’t pinpoint what it is.

“I don’t make a habit of explaining myself to people who seem set on misunderstanding me.”

He doesn’t respond to that, and after watching me for another breath, he shifts his attention to the fire.”

Lesson 1: Tap into insecurity

Your protagonist has insecurities. At least, if they’re a well-rounded, dimensional character, they do.

What you might not realize is that this insecurity is a treasure chest of emotional conflict. Open it and let your eyes sparkle with the possibility, my friend.

Take, for instance, this line from the passage above:

“I don’t make a habit of explaining myself to people who seem set on misunderstanding me.”

This single statement encapsulates a huge portion of the conflict that takes place between Iris and Pike in this story. In fact, it’s the bulk of what they need to overcome.

Even better, the author has done a great job of creating an insecurity for Iris that acts as a double-edged sword.

This may be a shock (though if you’ve ever watched or read a story, that’s unlikely), but Pike isn’t the only one misunderstanding the other person in this situation.

And that is exactly what I’m talking about: Iris’ insecurity allows for both external conflict between her and Pike, as well as internal conflict in terms of what she needs to overcome over the course of her transformational journey.

You are likely spending your story taking your own protagonist on a transformational journey. And the best way to push them to their emotional limits is to put them in situations where they will encounter things that tap into their greatest Fear and their greatest Insecurity.

In The Emotion Outline, I guide you through outlining both of these things. But for the quick and dirty version here, I like to define Fear as the thing your protagonist is afraid to do—a situation they will avoid at all costs. Like being afraid of getting close to someone or afraid of being alone.

Insecurity, on the other hand, is what they fear others think of them. And, on a deeper level, it is what they think of themself.

Iris believes that she is misunderstood. And this insecurity spikes fear in her because she’s witnessed the negative consequences that come from people not fully understanding who you are. (In her case, she is a witch, and she has experienced prejudice and harassment because of this.)

If you’re in the middle of a tense emotion, such as impatience, it’s the perfect time for your protagonist to have that insecurity surface.

What is your protagonist’s greatest insecurity? What do they fear others think of them (that they also secretly believe about themself)? How can you have this insecurity surface in a moment of high emotion?

Lesson 2: Build to it

Aren’t you much more likely to explode at somebody if you’re already having a crappy day?

One thing after another has already gone wrong, and if one more person says the wrong thing, you’re going to snap.

If you’re wanting an emotion, like impatience, that feels like it’s bubbling just below the surface, ready to explode—take your time getting there. Build to it. Have everything go wrong that can.

When I discuss tension, I talk about stretching things tight. This is the perfect way to do this.

If you’re ready to have your protagonist snap in a moment of heightened emotion, what are some things that could go wrong before that moment? How has your story been building to it?

Lesson 3: Inauthentic

I don’t know about you, but I really resonate with this line from the passage above:

“I’m too tired to argue, too tired to get into a sparring match where the person with the quickest wit wins. Pike is all sarcasm all the time, but I just want to think before I speak and say what I mean. I don’t want to have to be clever when I feel anything but.”

Building good relationships in a story, in my opinion, often comes down to characters who can be themselves with each other.

Of course, it likely won’t begin that way.

In this story, Iris and Pike have to spend time together before they realize how accepting they actually are of one another.

But think about your own life and relationships. Isn’t it so much easier to be around people where you can be completely yourself? Where you don’t have to try so hard?

Think of how good that feels. Then think of the mental and emotional drain that comes from being around people whom you feel inauthentic with.

An excellent way to create quick universally relatable conflict is to tap into the way a character would feel if they weren’t able to just relax and be themselves. If they were feeling a need, for whatever reason, to be inauthentic to who they are.

This simple tool can act as a concrete foundation for any negative emotion you’re hoping to convey. And, as a bonus, it will help spark their transformation. Because sometimes you have to understand who you don’t want to be before you can step into a better version of yourself.

Is there someone in your story whom your protagonist has a difficult time being around? Why do they feel it is hard to relax and be themself around this person? Why is it actually hard for them to be themself around this person? How does this relationship evolve throughout the story? At what point do they realize they are being inauthentic when they’re with this character?